Marital processes and rite in the old days in Ososo are quite different from what we have now. In those days, when a young man finds a lady he likes/wants to marry he would tell his parents who will go to the lady’s parents to make known his intention. His mother or father would go there on a day (called Ede-kpe) preceeding the market day. When he or she gets to lady’s parent home he would greet very warmly and ask to see her father. Sitting close to him, he will say;
“Please sir, I see a beautiful
lady in your good home that I want to marry for my son”.
“which of my daughter?” the father will enquire if he has more than one daughter.
After knowing the exact
one, he will tell the man to come back for reply in nine days time. He
discusses the young man’s parents’ visit with his wife. That is, the lady’s
mother and thereafter call the daughter to tell and ask her if she would like
to marry the young man. Some parents who are used to oracle consultation will
go to consult the oracle by calling the name of the young man with questions
like is he the one for their daughter? Will the daughter have a good home with
him? Is there a curse in his family that
will be a problem on their daughter? Etc
The man (lady’s father) will then prepares his
response awaiting the young man’s parent. On the 9th day, the young
man’s father or mother would knock. This visit is usually done in the evening
between 6.00pm to 8.00pm. if the man’s response is negative, he will politely decline
the marital request with one or two excuses. However, if it’s positive, the man
would ask questions such as: who is this your son? Where is he now? What is his
occupation?
The parent will tell him/her that
they have given their daughter to them. The young man’s parents will take the
good news home.
At this point, parents of the
young man and the lady can start visiting themselves and sharing the marriage
plan. The lady would sometimes go and fetch water or firewood and take it to
her prospective mother in-law.
If the young man lives in Ososo
he will start doing what is called Oyemiregoh. That is, taking in group (farmers) to farm for
his prospective father in-law. He could do this for three to four times in
farming seasons before going for doing engagement with the lady. However, if
the young man is not living in Ososo, the parents will ask him to come home to
see the lady. After this, engagement yam (ten tubers of yam) will be carried to
engage the lady. In the case here, the man is interested and capable of taking
home the lady immediately, there is no need for the engagement yam. They will
just go ahead with the full marital rite of thirty – one (31) tubers of yam.
Thirty (30) yam from the 31 yam taken to the bride’s family is the true number
requested, the one which made it 31 belongs to who count them on arrival. In
addition to it is 1kg of Pito drink, Gin (Ogogoro), 1kg of palm oil, one Umbrella,
cola nuts, 21 cowries (in a small plate like calabash with cover), a bottle of
honey, and a bag of salt. This is done or carried to the lady family
ceremonially with songs and dance by the women in the home (street) of the
young man. The ceremony is called yoyoo. When they get to the compound of the
bride. They will all drop the items on the ground and continue singing and
dancing under the canopy built for the sake of the marriage where invited
parents’ group are sitting and the young man and lady dressed in beautiful Ulalo
attire will join them in the middle, their family members and parents and
well-wishers will spray them with cash and give them some gifts. The chairman
of the occasion will follow the order of the program as put together by both
families. Everyone presents will dance to kokoma and Iregba,
enjoy the pounded yam and Egusi soup with lot of bush meat.
At the end of the day, the items
exception of the umbrella and box is divided into two for the bride’s mother
and father’s families to be shared among their family members.